things are looking up

things are starting to look up, they aren't great, but i can once again see hope in the distance. i got almost the whole house cleaned today, two of the kids rooms are yet to be done, but it looks so much better. i made a huge family dinner, tri-tip, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, even brownies, we all ate together and it was nice. the laundry is all done, folded and put away. dave and i are getting along better, i am still really guarded, but i am trying to let go of the bitterness and let him in again. i am now officially 6 days away from a vacation and 5 days away from no kids! i think by the end of august we should be out of financial hardship, at least for awhile. i am getting stronger in my resolve to have kennedy move out before school starts again. i think i am getting bolder in stating what i need at prayer and not being so worried about hurting people. i feel like i can actually protect myself a bit. camp is coming and i cannot wait to be free of household duties for a week. this weekend we are taking family pictures with my whole family, i think that my parents are starting to realize that they won't be here forever and want to do this now. that is my only really hard thing this weekend besides the dreaded church. i wish i was going to see a movie or something cool, but no. graduation party, dance practice, swimming and that's about it. i hope to get tan this week for the beach trip. next week, is more appointments, the last week of dance, and hermosa beach. i am hoping that i can get where i need to be on time and not stressed, and if i could lose 5lbs, that would be a bonus. i hope you are all taking care of yourselves and enjoying life.