today is one of those days

today is one of those days. i am feeling overtired, over hungry, overworked and under appreciated. i cannot get my emotions to stop zooming along. one minute i am fine and then bam, i am crying wishing for an end to my misery. i feel so out of control, i feel like i am fixing all the outward things of my life, my house has never been cleaner, and for this long, my laundry i do every day, and i have been cooking, working out, tanning, buying new clothes, and yet the inside of me, is a complete disaster, but no one looking at the outward would ever know this. i am disgusted by the person i feel like i am inside. most people think i am at least a decent person, even if they don't like me, but i feel so shameful and ugly and evil inside it is hard to even look in a mirror. i want today to be over with! i want a new start tomorrow and hopefully it will be better than today, gotta go clean some more.