Thursday, July 13, 2006

how quickly it changes

how quickly my life changes, everyday i feel like i am beginning anew the rest of my life.
my in-laws were gone for three months, and then when they got home they took my son and kennedy immediately, for two days, which was fine, but today when i went to get them, kennedy treated me like she didn't even know me. it was a horrible feeling. i felt like she had instantly turned against me and hated me. she didn't want anything to do with me. it hurt. i guess it is good, because she is going to be moving out of our house soon, but i felt like it had been coached, like she had been taught the behavior. my bitterness towards my in-laws has not gone away, my therapist says that i should be upset, that they "scammed" me with promises that they had no intention of keeping, and with patronizing me with whatever would work. they hurt me, deeply, i felt like when i was younger and was deceived all of the time, and i didn't expect it from people so close to me. this is going to be a bumpy ride, and i am nervous and scared especially for kennedy, she has been through so much. i can't tell you how much my heart aches for her. i hope that it changes soon. i hope that i can make it through this rough patch that we are going to enter. i hope and pray, and ask you to do the same.

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