easter is on its way

easter is on its way. it's coming at me like a freight train these past few days. sleep has been hell. the memories are weighing me down. i feel like crying most of the time i am awake, not sure if it is exhaustion or guilt. phone calls constantly, dave tries to answer, they ask for me and then hang up. at least i am not crazy. ok, that last comment is debatable. only like 30 something days of school left. hugely happy about that one. zeds free birthday includes treat bags! sweet. no baby for a few nights, so that helps a little in the sleep arena. kids getting along, for once. babysat tynins tamagotchi while she was on a field trip, it didn't die, she was stoked. payday is today! you have no idea the joy in that one. last mother/son night at church with zed, been to every one since he was four, little sad, little happy, dreading the church scene. but, thumbs way up, george is the speaker! hard day with dave. tears. zed signed up for his junior high classes and i was so proud, although some require an interview?! can't believe he is starting junior high. found out we can trade old games in to purchase kingdom hearts 2 for zeds birthday, nice to cut costs! i am so nervous about so many things right now, trying to diet, failing miserably, trying to get the end of the year school stuff done, feeling overwhelmed with the sign-ups that come home everyday. very tired, very much wanting an escape to forget who i was for a few hours. tomorrow is another day. at least i will get to see george, even for a minute.