update

just a quick update for you all, things are going really really well with dave and i. i am actually amazed at how good they are going, i am still very guarded, but have prayed that i would not be hardened and would allow change to take place in both of us, no matter how slowly. it has been good. it isn't perfect, i don't want to say that, but i am encouraged and hopeful that this is going to be a good thing. the matter of easter being so close, is another matter altogether. i am very aware of the season and the memories are not fun, i have some fear, but i also feel like this year, i believe that dave will be more of a support. the whole thing is always hard for me and i keep hoping that each year will be better, that perhaps i won't even be aware of the season and can enjoy it, last night was the wake up call that i am still very much aware and connnected to the season if only by memories. the kids are not feeling great and kennedy is a little hard to take right now, i am still a little sick, and believe it or not, my house is messy and the laundry isn't done, my shrink said that when i finally took care of things internally with dave that i would be able to relax a little about the housework. what a great guy, he said he was waiting for my house to get dirty, then he would know i wasn't out of control. how does that work?! i am planning on cleaning, but at least i am not crazy about it like i was. i just wanted to say thanks to my friends who have stuck with me through this time, and i guarantee it isn't over yet, so keep praying.