its been forever since i have written on here, it seems a lifetime ago. 2 years ago when i wrote, i was in the best place i have been in in my adult life, but one short year later i would reach the lowest level i have been in. it started at family camp of 2009, i was praying the last night of camp, thanking god for his promises and blessings, i felt like i could audibly hear him say that it was going to be the hardest year of my life and to keep seeking him and trusting that he hadnt left through the hardships. i figured my mom who is not in the best health was going to pass on. i really could not have been prepared for what happened. my mom did get cancer for the 5th time, and almost died, my father-in- law got cancer, my dad had a cancer scare, my daughter suffered through depression and not eating and wanting to die, i got accused of stealing money from the government, my niece was molested and there was a trial to remove her from her mothers care, we have been living at near poverty level(literally) which is ridiculous considering we have jobs, and incomes, but trying to pay back past troubles and not ditching our debt has been hard, and then there was daves affair, it nearly destroyed me, but god gave me such grace, it was not my heart that was forgiving but truly god did a work in me, and while i have learned to move forward, my kids have struggled and struggled and it is still not where i would like it to be. this year is still not where i would like to be, but i am learning to rely more and more on god and his promises and to lean on my husband and kids, i am learning what is important and what i dont need in my life right now. it is a new year, a new day and a new chance at making today the best i possibly can..