and october keeps on a coming

everyday i try to tell myself that it is almost the end of october and thus my life will return to some kind of normal. yes. everyday. today was no different. but as i have tried to communicate with people my whole life, october has it in for me. seriously. the past history of my life, bad things always happen in october. always and forever. this month alone, i have had the flu, so has every member in my family. i now am on the 9th day of a horrid cold, and on monday callista had the croup and today zed woke up with the croup. tynin injured her knee in volleyball. i got word today that my favorite aunt had a massive stroke, a few hours later she had passed away. she wasn't sick, just bam, dead. my mom went to the hospital today, she has been having a hard time breathing, the verdict was bad. pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal lung disease. i am not sure what to do, i cannot be around her, because i am still coughing up lung butter, and i feel like at any moment she could die. the best case scenario is her life will last 5 more years, that is not her, she is in the worst case arena. the girls soccer team has come under scruntiny lately and it is very ugly and i actually have lost sleep over it. we have had several checks bounce and be returned and that is so humiliating and hasn't been something that has happened to us in 13 years. today was so awful! i just want to feel better, i just want my kids to be well, i want my parents to be well, and i want this stupid month to be over with. oh, and both of my girls really want to dress up for halloween, well, they want to wear pajamas, so technically they are dressing up as themselves going to bed, i don't think they realize that i actually think i am ok with that. i hope that the rest of the month doesn't get worse! i don't know what else to expect. just a few more days........................