ok its easter

ok so, its easter week and you know that this my favorite time of year. or not... but, i am plugging along, not that this is an easy year. it some ways it is harder than past years, but in some ways it is easier. for one, since marriage counseling, i have been able to express to dave what i need as far as spiritual security, and believe it or not, he has been trying to step up and make it better. the marriage counseling has helped, and has been the hardest thing i have ever done, but the rewards are many and that feels like it is worth it to me to go through all the crap. i am so grateful that i got a job that doesn't require me to work this week, because i think i would have struggled a great deal. and the kids are so old, that they actually have been a help to me this year, especially zed, when i have to run to the store, i feel not physically but spiritually safe and that helps a lot. i am learning to trust dave with personalities and memories and that is a real challenge for me. but i hope in the end it will help me finish my healing process. although the marriage counselors think it would be better if i didn't have to share those things with him, but i am desperate to get past this place, it isn't a good place to be stuck. i am really tired and worn down and ready for this week to be over, but i am doing pretty good. hopefully, it will go quickly! love to you all, it would be great to hear from you!